Normal

This morning NPR seemed only to offer gut-wrenching news. A news day that makes me almost feel guilty for looking down and seeing my ridiculously hilarious baby talking to the cat. It certainly heightens my adoration for him. I'm glad I don't have to worry about a revolution next door. My worries are more of the runny-nose, paying-bills, finding-work, remembering-birthdays, practicing-patience variety.

The other day I was talking on the phone with darling Whitney. She was so very sad and worried about a colleague who found himself in the middle of a very dramatic and dangerous cancer diagnosis. We bemoaned how suddenly it struck him. One day was a normal day, the next day was an emergency. So terrifying, how instantly and irreversibly "normal" can be snatched from you.

But, on the other end, reveling in normal can be difficult. I certainly have a hard time with it pretty often. I guess its the "new normal" of my SAHM status that seems uncomfortable sometimes. Plus, this baby-raising stuff is such a goshdarn moving target, normal is a shape-shifter. (I give that metaphor about a c+) But lately I've felt lump-in-your-throat appreciation for it. I attribute it to getting enough sleep that I can actually feel my feelings accurately.

Case in point: this past Sunday, Woodworker was puttering in the yard and I caught a glimpse of him through the kitchen window. He was so serious, cleaning a strange landscapey effort that the previous owners created (other people have strange ideas), and our 5 chickens were clucking around him with devotion. The sun was shining and there was a bald eagle gliding elegantly above the houses. I rested a moment, taking it in. Buckaroo had just gone down for a nap so I could really relax as I contemplated, which was delightful. It was such a piece-of-art moment. Tho, if you saw that image in a painting or a Rockwell drawing, it would look ridiculous with the eagle and everything. Plus, there must be a joke in there somewhere, involving chickens and eagles, or husbands and chickens - I'm not sure. Anyway, I remember that I really felt the peace and joy of the moment, and I was incredibly grateful to feel the feelings.

Don't you ever wonder, why is this my normal in this life? Why was someone else born into normal in Mumbai or Paris? But if you think on your normal too much, it gets annoying. I'm just feeling really grateful for the normal right now.