Horizons

So, it is still January. I have not found myself in front of the computer much these past weeks. Any spare time I have, I've had my face buried in some book. Escapism, I suppose. Though, life is not as difficult as it was not so long ago. I think I'm reading because I CAN find those few moments of escape and because my brain will actually disengage from my surroundings, from parenting, from anxiety.

January!! I am still working on an existential resolution. The quotidian one has been easy to accomplish so far: anti-wrinkle cream before bed. This was Woodworker's resolution as well. He is not as good at is as me. He only manages to remember if he sees me doing it, and then he wants me to rub it on his face. Since he's already in bed. So far, I've thrown it at him once. But then I realized I don't want to break the bottle. Not so existential.

I'm subconsciously mulling my hopes and designs for 2011. I can vaguely feel it - something along the lines of broadening horizons and gathering strength. It was such a damn huge goal to get to Christmas that I'm sort of blinking in amazement at January. And, gosh darn it, Buckaroo is going to be ONE YEAR OLD pretty soon. Holy shitballs. Nuh-uh. Let us not discuss it, let us not. For it is too amazing to behold. Let us leave it alone until it is nigh upon us. Instead, let us discuss the fact that I found myself looking at job openings that were very VERY far afield. I found an amazing, well-suited position at the Getty, for instance. I don't live in Los Angeles, however. So why did I drool over the job description? Why did I start to formulate the cover letter, just for fun? Similarly, I probably don't need to be looking at jobs in Washington, DC. Not helpful. But it was just so fun to imagine doing the work that those jobs described.

Alas, I suppose this is an indication that I am remembering my *self* in a broader sense. That I may be able to be a mom AND be out in the world, bustling, thinking, participating, etc. I am so deeply impressed by the mom that does this, in whatever form. I had no idea I would be so viscerally, mentally discombobulated by motherhood - so shaken, in a way. But, shoot man, you don't know until you get there. We planned to have me at home for at least a year, and thank heavens we were already hoisting that paradigm, because I just don't know what otherwise would have done to me. But, one doesn't plan to have a colicky baby, one doesn't plan to struggle with vicious postpartum depression/anxiety, one doesn't anticipate buying a fixer-upper and moving with an infant, or for any of those complications. It is relative, I suppose. We all have to do what we have to do.

This year, we plan to go to Maui for my brother's wedding in September. That is a superfabulous goal for us, for financial and swimsuit reasons. Yay for fitness!! We talk about being "Maui-Ready." Umhmm. Woodworker is one of those boys who sort of thinks about losing weight and, voila, his pants are baggy. Jerk. But honestly, I just want to feel good and eventually to find myself on that beach in the sun. So, I'm excited to have that "feel good" goal. Part of embracing new horizons and stuff.

In other January memos, lets look at these two hooligans causing trouble at our house:



Thick as thieves, they are. Getting each other all worked up.



Trying to distract us with their sheepish grins...



Move it along, they say, nothing to see here!

Oh, Buckaroo and Genevieve, masters of our days. Growing, giving chase, inspiring groans and giggles and large glasses of wine after you go to bed - we love you!

Bedtime,
Nellie

Tuscan Adages

I finally FINALLY finished "The Agony and the Ecstasy." I'm telling you, I got my BA in Art History and everything, but I finished that book vastly more informed about Michelangelo. I think. So much happened, and the guy lived to be Biblical old, and had to put up with the shenanigans of what seemed like dozens of Popes - its all a blur, really. But YAY! I'm done, and it's time to sink into another book. Right now, because it's naptime. But first I must share more of these great Tuscan sayings before I forget them:

"He who contends with the worthless achieves no great victory."

"Eventually, every mouth will want to bite the hand that feeds it."

A version of put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is: "dig out the words and fill the hole with gold."

Pointing out someone's stupidity/obliviousness: "you couldn't see a crow in a bowl of milk."

To describe hard times/hunger: "We don't know if we're rubbing the skin of our belly or the bone of our back"

"The best mirror is an old friend."

Commenting on making a good investment: "...pleased to see we have not been making soup in a basket."

Working for rich people: "the ass who carries gold and eats thistle."

OK. That's all for now. I know I'm overlooking a couple, but the book was over 750 pp. Michelangelo was amazing, not mortal. He had no direct progeny, and only a niece and a nephew that seemed to survive to adulthood. I wonder if there are living any direct descendants of them.

Ciao.
Nellie

Chip Off The Old Block

This morning, we were all in bed having a cup of coffee. This is somewhat of a ritual. Buckaroo has a teenie little mug that actually belongs to an espresso maker but suits him perfectly. His cup is always void of actual coffee, but no matter. I know thus because this morning, he put the cup to his lips and slurped. And then he sat the cup down and said "aaahhh." EXACTLY like dadda does. I'm not kidding. He's 10 months old yet he's capable of such mimicry. You know what this means. Yup. Gifted. Surely. Next thing you know, calculus.

In other news, today the baby and I went to our pediatrician to get the flu booster shot. This was the first time I'd taken Buckaroo to get a shot without my husband. (Who's the baby here?) Please keep in mind that for a very very long time after Buckaroo was born, I was not doing so well. I didn't really have my center, if you will. Woodworker is a rock. He's Gibraltar. But today just Buckaroo and I went to the doctor's office. And I didn't sweat with panic. And we sat and waited. And the nurse called us. And I provided access to Buckaroo's chubby thigh. And Buckaroo didn't even cry.

And I didn't cry either.

And it was good.

Amen.

There were other great and amazing achievements in the parental realm today, but I don't want to overtalk it. Or jinx it. Plus, it's late and I must get to bed and continue chipping away (pun intented) at this dang tome about Michelangelo.

Alas, in closing, I think it is safe to say that my "center" feels more familiar to me these days. Achh, it is a tenuous thing. Baby steps. Seems to be greatly related to adequate sleep. Which I must go minister.

No, wait. First I must mention my sisters. One sister must return to work tomorrow after her maternity leave from the birth of wee perfect Juliana, sister to Natalia. I have a nervous stomach for her. But she will do well. And my mother - the mother of all Gibraltars - (god, horrible metaphor. horrible.) will keep the urchins warm and fed. The other sister is supposed to be producing my new nephew, brother-to-be to Nikolas, at any moment. I'm sure I am one teenie fraction as impatient as she. We wait for the phone to ring.

Night night.
Nellie

p.s. I find there to be some clunky sentences in this post. Please forgive. I'm not one for editing at the moment. Editing is not as much fun as parenthetical remarks.

p.p.s. I recognize a lack of photos or graphics of late. I hope this will change. Photos are good.

Happy New Year!!!

1/1/11 Woodworker and I have the same New Year's Resolution: put anti-wrinkle cream on our faces every night. I got the cream for him as a present in his stocking. Wish us luck.

I've been encouraging Buckaroo to think about a resolution himself - most very specifically to sleep for great long stretches at night. On the brink of our first night of 2011, who the hell knows.

We went for a glorious hike today up Chuckanut Mountain. We rested at a bench, overlooking the San Juan Islands. A good number of rosy-cheeked folks came along. Everyone delighted in seeing wee Buckaroo on the trail. We were tired from a night of parenting, but the walk was invigorating, and an inspiring way to start the year. Such a gorgeous corner of the world.

Steady on,
Nellie