rated G
I'm sitting at Whidbey Island Coffee, the one by Home Depot, and I'm working on a writing project (none of your business, I'm shy), and I'm looking out the window at the parking lot of Kohl's Department Store. Just now: an older, little sports car zooms into and around the parking lot. There are two young men in it (duh). He swoops into the handicapped parking area and parks straddling the parking space and the striped pedestrian area. He opens the door, drops a pair of gym slippers onto the ground, puts them on, and saunters towards the doors of Kohls. His pal remains in the car.
What, I wonder, is the equivalent of this in the wild? Like, what does inappropriate young male behavior look like in the Alaskan wilderness or the Serengeti, or wherever there is any wildness left? What is the moose version of this rude, dangerous rule-breaking? It's so exhausting. I guess my desire to slap him and yell at him is the equivalent of the wild response of whatever exhausted, exasperated wild mama would do. I wish I was closer so I could at least scold them. It's my instinctive duty. But I'm far enough that it doesn't directly endanger me, so I just roll my eyes. I'm the human version of the mama moose sitting in the sun on the hillside on the other side of the valley, far enough away for it to be too much of a bother to discomfort myself.
Oh, here he comes. What a little twerp. Ain't in no hurry, either. Probably taking something to his girlfriend. She texted him, was all: babe, PLS bring my other car keys bC those have my gym card omg I don't wnt 2 miss my cardio 2nite. XOXOXO
He's all: can't. late.
She's all: come ON. PLEASE.
He's all: maybe
And then he brings them to her and she puts up with his crap attitude and everything is annoying and boys are the worst.